Surnames (was Re: writers rant)

----- Original Message -----

> From: Jenny Tait <piratejenny@verizon.net>
>
>>> Under Scots law women do not lose their surname on marriage.
>>
>> US women don't have to, either, but most of us choose to -- those who
>> bother getting married, anyway, which seems to be fewer every year.  It
>> still bothers me that _none_ of the three who mentioned "Why would she
>> change her name?" even considered that she _might_ have gotten married
>> and done so.  Turned out that the different name was a stage name.

I didn't change my name when I got married. I like to paraphrase Shakespeare from "Taming of the Shrew": I married him, not his name.

Of course, he didn't change his name to mine neither. :)

Women throughout the UK do not lose their original surnames when they marry; it's a choice to take the husband's name. The UK Deed Poll website makes it clear that whilst it's not a popular option, it IS an option for a husband to take his wife's name.
>
> Actually, most of the women I know do NOT change their names, especially
> if they've already got a decent career going. Or they hyphenate.

American friends from Boulder visited us in June. I mention this fact because he did change to her name when they married. He had no attachment to his name; it was from a father he'd not seen since he was two. His mother re-married after the divorce and took on the new husband's name. Although that man acted as a father, he never adopted my friend, so he kept his biological father's name. 

His wife had a real attachment to her name, so he chose to take her name when they married. Very Boulder. Very cool. :)

I have other friends there who made up an entirely new name for themselves, which also is a legal option in the UK.

>
> In my personal case it was a choice between Kobylarz and Tait. Which to
> me isn't a choice. :-)

A friend of mine with a long surname used to say that when she got married, if her husband had a shorter name that came earlier in the alphabet than hers, she'd change to it. He did and she did. :)

Ellen, writing in Wales. We're off to Raglan Castle on the morrow for an SCA event. (Pennsic has fake castles. We have real ones over here. :)

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