Re: Whatcha reading/watching/listening to?

On 7/25/12 12:20 PM, piratejenny@verizon.net wrote:

> Jen: I'll tell you what a lot of people have against it. You use it as an excuse. Every time you fuck up, you blame your Asperger's. Which, if I've read correctly, has only been diagnosed by your daughter telling a doctor what you're like, not by you actually seeing a doctor and being diagnosed with it. Which is more a "it sounds like she might have it" not a real diagnosis.
>

Actually, my daughter first figured out what it was. She knew me better
than anyone else, from thirty-some years with me, and had taken a couple
of modern Counseling courses in college. I was going to the local
Mental Health Center for my antidepressant prescriptions for my
long-standing Clinical Depression, and she told the administration
people there about her speculation. At that place, they didn't have
anyone qualified to diagnose it, especially in an adult. But they did
send me to the State Children's Hospital, fifty miles away, to a PhD
specialist in Autism, who was writing a paper about adults with
undiagnosed Aspergers. She did diagnose me, as well as getting more
data from me, test results and memories, for her paper.

As far as I can see, I don't "use it for an excuse". I like for people
to know that I have it, so that they'll have an idea _why_ I don't
"smell right" socially.

> Like I said yesterday, we own our shit here. We fuck up, we admit to it. And some of us even learn from it. YOU insist that everyone else is wrong. That WE are not connected with reality. Like I said yesterday, look in the mirror, dearie. It seems as if your concept of reality is tenuous at best.

Trouble is, I can't admit to what I can't see. As far as I can tell,
I'm just discussing, not fighting.

>
> Jen says: it's not that you don't understand it's that you don't WANT to understand. You've appeared to show you're perfectly capable of understanding when you want to.
>

How do you know what I "WANT"? What I want is to be known, and to learn
and know as well as I am able.

> Whoever you are? That sounds like something a troll would say.

It's that _I_ don't know who I am. A lot of the indicators are from
other people, reflecting back at me like mirrors, and it's like
fun-house mirrors, because I can't even recognize what I see in them,
especially when it's you and Mal reflecting. It could be a reflection
of somebody else.


--

Sibyl Smirl
mailto:polycarpa3@ckt.net
Asperges me, Domine!