Re: Re: Whatcha reading/watching/listening to?

On 07/25/12, Sibyl Smirl wrote:

On 7/25/12 12:20 PM, piratejenny@verizon.net wrote:

> Jen: I'll tell you what a lot of people have against it. You use it as an excuse. Every time you fuck up, you blame your Asperger's. Which, if I've read correctly, has only been diagnosed by your daughter telling a doctor what you're like, not by you actually seeing a doctor and being diagnosed with it. Which is more a "it sounds like she might have it" not a real diagnosis.
>

S: Actually, my daughter first figured out what it was. She knew me better
than anyone else, from thirty-some years with me, and had taken a couple
of modern Counseling courses in college. I was going to the local
Mental Health Center for my antidepressant prescriptions for my
long-standing Clinical Depression, and she told the administration
people there about her speculation. At that place, they didn't have
anyone qualified to diagnose it, especially in an adult. But they did
send me to the State Children's Hospital, fifty miles away, to a PhD
specialist in Autism, who was writing a paper about adults with
undiagnosed Aspergers. She did diagnose me, as well as getting more
data from me, test results and memories, for her paper.

__

J: I stand corrected there.

S: As far as I can see, I don't "use it for an excuse". I like for people
to know that I have it, so that they'll have an idea _why_ I don't
"smell right" socially.

___

J: Oh, but you do. Every time someone takes exception to what you say, you play the AS card. "It must have been my Asperger's. Therefore I'm not responsible." Wrong. You are responsible for what you do.

> Like I said yesterday, we own our shit here. We fuck up, we admit to it. And some of us even learn from it. YOU insist that everyone else is wrong. That WE are not connected with reality. Like I said yesterday, look in the mirror, dearie. It seems as if your concept of reality is tenuous at best.

S:Trouble is, I can't admit to what I can't see. As far as I can tell,
I'm just discussing, not fighting.

J: Telling us we're disconnected from reality? Not a discussion.

>
> Jen says: it's not that you don't understand it's that you don't WANT to understand. You've appeared to show you're perfectly capable of understanding when you want to.
>

S: How do you know what I "WANT"? What I want is to be known, and to learn
and know as well as I am able.

J: From dealing with sociopaths in the past maybe? And if you want to be known, you certainly are. Most of us would like to be known in a positive way or not at all. That's why it's a good idea to lurk on lists until you know the rules.

> Whoever you are? That sounds like something a troll would say.

S: It's that _I_ don't know who I am. A lot of the indicators are from
other people, reflecting back at me like mirrors, and it's like
fun-house mirrors, because I can't even recognize what I see in them,
especially when it's you and Mal reflecting. It could be a reflection
of somebody else.

J: If you don't know who you are by now, I think you could use some heavy-duty therapy.

And Mal and I are real, individual people. We've even been seen in the same place at the same time.