Re: The incredibly mundane saga of how Mac's world fall apart.

Hey, all.

I've been enjoying reading a list that's a lot more like old times.
You've been cracking me up.

As I've mentioned a couple of times, there's been a ridiculous amount
of stuff happening in my life. I think I joined the list in '97, may
have been '98. Back then, I was a single working mother named Melissa
('Liss') separated from her husband, with a toddler and a preschooler.
I was on and off the list, occasionally leaving in a snit, but always
wandering back. Some of you may remember the nasty divorce in 2000.
You may even remember the story of the tumultuous first year of my
relationship with the 5 years younger man, at the time jokingly
referred to as Angel Boy, who became Husband #2 in 2002.

Well, nearly ten years later, after 11 years together, G and I are
permanently splitting up. It's mutual, we're taking it slow, and we're
keeping it as amicable as we can make it. However, this really is the
cherry on top of a hell of a fucking year.

Some people have a hard time believing this, considering that my son
went insane with PTSD from my ex's abuse for three years, tried to
kill us, ended up in mental hospitals 10 times, went to juvie for
domestic violence, and was finally institutionalized for a year, but
this officially qualifies as THE WORST YEAR EVER.

It started with G almost dying at the beginning of January from viral
inflammation of the pericardium and myocardium of the heart.
Afterwords, our relationship hit the skids and has been on a down hill
slope ever since. My mother, with whom I had a hell of a troubled
relationship, died in May, leaving me an only child with the remnants
of a life time of hoarding and no will.  I have spent the last two
months sorting out her life and learning about lie after lie that she
told me. There have been other more minor issues throughout. Now,
this. *sigh*

I am kind of at the end of my tether, freaking out about having to
start all over again, having not worked for the past ten years. I have
Crohn's Disease, Psoriasis, Psoratic Arthritis, and a pile of more
minor conditions.  I also have an older child (nearly 19) who has
fibromyalgia, a direct result of his father's abuse and the PTSD, and
can't currently live anything approximating a normal life. I have a 15
and a half year-old with horrible stomach pains that they haven't been
able to find a cause for yet, but that kept him out of school for a
large chunk of last year. I am about ready to run out screaming in the
street until I fall down. :p

However, somehow, I am going to make it to Portland next week. I'm
still working on the logistics, but I'm looking forward to seeing some
of you that I haven't met before now.

Anyways, I guess I needed to vent some more, since I've been keeping
this from Facebook. I know that I'll pick myself back up and start
kicking ass again, I'm just kind of tired of it. Now you know, if you
care, why I've generally been so damn quiet, though.

~ Mac, the former Liss, etc.

--
Maida 'Mac/Lys' Cain

"I think maybe we started to forget when we stopped looking up.
Instead of remembering there was a world of sky up there above our
heads, we'd sit on the ground and look at our feet."
- Jack Daw in Charles de Lint's  Someplace to be Flying